I’m Elsabe Pepler and I am always thinking about communication between people. Writing is just another form of communication, so I also write for a few pennies. I love the subjects of communication and writing so much that I have done my doctor’s degree in it. I believe I am the Communication Doctor who can help to heal sick communication. There are many things that I wonder about and doubt – but I will never manage to NOT believe that communication is the most important thing between humans. We may call it other names, but it is still about how to connect with other human beings, and with ourselves in this world.
If we have good relationships, and we do well at work, life and everything in it is better. Bad or ineffective communication causes fights, disagreement, breakups, divorces, friction at work – and even war. It all depends on our skills and knowledge about the act of communication.
Don’t just write it off as bad relationships between certain people! Relationships exist because of communication. Good communication can improve a bad relationship (just like good sex can). Bad communication can destroy a good relationship (even if a couple has great sex).
Take a minute to think about it, and you will realize that you cannot ever not communicate. We always communicate, even if it is in our own heads with ourselves. We communicate with romantic others, friends, partners, family, colleagues, strangers on the street, even our sworn enemies. For example, a brief moment of eye contact is an act of communication that can change our lives. (That is what some people call “body language” or nonverbal communication. And as always, the devil is in the details.)
So think about the following interesting questions:
Why does the world love Harry Potter? Because JK Rowling “wrote” him so well!
Why does a person prefer one magazine to another one? It simply “communicates” better.
Why is one married couple so happy, and the next one so unhappy? Because the happy couple communicates “better” and more and therefore understand one another better.
Why does one email make you angry and annoyed, even if it is short and to the point? Probably because the tone is not respectful, courteous and clear.
Why do we feel so terribly alone and deserted when we cannot find the words to express our feelings? Because communication is the only tool we have to connect with others and understand them and ourselves better.
Good communication also means good writing
Written messages are still a form of communication. This explains why we love specific authors, magazines, reporters and newspapers more than others – because the writing speaks of clear, vivid and respectful communication.
When our relationships or friendships or work situations are unhappy, it could be because we are choosing the wrong words. It can also be because we are not listening closely. Or we send the wrong signals with our nonverbal communication (body language). Sometimes we send emails with bad grammar in a hurry, and then the receiver feels that we do not respect them or even wonders what it means!
Nobody communicates perfectly, but many people communicate greatly. And in case you are thinking that some people are just born with it and others will never be able to communicate, that is not true at all. We can all improve our communication skills and practice to do it better. It is true that there are people who were born as outstanding communicators (thinking Obama here?), and others cannot for the life of them deliver a speech or have a happy conversation.
Let’s communicate! And heal the world, one conversation and one good message at a time.