Communication and lies

I sometimes wonder why the older generations - my forefathers and -mothers, and my parents and teachers and leaders - put such a priority on goodness.  Things like respect, trust, courtesy, honesty, keeping promises, hard work, commitment, modesty, frugality and fairness.  People used their own consciences to determine if they were good and bad.  They always used terms like "yo...
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Do men and women communicate the same?

Can (some of) you remember that 1981 song of FR David about Words? “Words don’t come easy to me, how can I find a way to make you see, I love you, words don’t come easy to me”, or something like that.  Whatever. The silly competition about women who communicate more than men will never stop, ever. It is just too convenient to say that women never stop talking. Some men get tha...
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What good communication means

As a student of good communication, I look differently than other people at many dialogues, conversations, and interactions. I myself still understand so little about it, but I do know that successful communication between humans is hard.  Most of the time, it slips into misunderstandings, insults, heartache, rejection, confusion, regrets, anger and shame. We start a new conver...
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Why should fees “fall”?

Today, I listen to the news with an anxious heart and trepidation.  Our universities are burning, and closing down. I wonder what wonderful, courageous Malala Yousafzai*, the girl-hero who nearly lost her life because she wanted to go to school in Pakistan, would say about this.  She believes that education can change the world. When I was a young child of about six, I alrea...
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This violence thing …

This violence thing ...My last thought before drifting into sleep last night was this: More than 350 000 abuse cases in South Africa in 2015 only (dailymaverick).  And more than half of them, shockingly, are boys. Hours earlier, I went to see the documentary, titled Alison, which was co-produced and co-directed by the real living Alison, one of South Africa's greatest storie...
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We need to talk …

Even the mention of those words and the shortest sentence - "we need to talk" - is so scary that most people will rather go running instead of doing the talk.  Others go into fight-club mode, ready to throw a few punches. "We need to talk" is a short but powerful sentence.  We believe it always means trouble, be it at home in your relationship with a partner or spouse, betwe...
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The effects of communication messages on society

For a long, long time, I have been transfixed by stories.  When I was a small girl of six, I would get onto the bus that stopped right in front of our house in Bloemfontein, get off in the middle of the "city", and walk about three blocks to the well-stocked library.  By age nine or ten I have read every book in the children's library, and they gave me some extra cards.  That w...
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Where did we go so wrong with love, sex and communication?

So I found an interesting article in Vanity Fair - their features are always great reads. When I had finished reading it, a great sorrow and sadness took position in my mind and heart. Even I was surprised by the intensity of my feelings.  Can just reading an article do that to anyone - or me? I know the power of great writing. The number of books on my shelves are ample ...
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